The Birthers are right – here’s how it happened


I’ve been giving a LOT of thought to this whole Birthers thing. I’ve done the research. I’ve read the blogs. I’ve listened to Dobbs. And now, at long last, I’ve reached a conclusion. It’s not one that will be popular with many progressive liberals and other Obama supporters but when the details of the diabolical plot are revealed, I think you’ll be forced to agree with me:

Barack Hussein Obama is NOT an American citizen.

It’s no accident that Barack Hussein Obama became the President of the United States of America. Nosiree, this was a plan hatched almost forty-nine years ago by a quiet little white Kansas-bred girl named Stanley Ann Dunham (known to friends and family as “Anna”.)

The details about why Ms. Dunham set this complicated but, ultimately, wickedly successful plan in motion are unknown. But there is absolutely no question whatsoever at this point that she did.

And she wasn’t alone.

No, Ms. Dunham had help and plenty of it along the way. Her parents. Doctors. Nurses. Newspaper employees. The Chicago political machine. The Washington, D.C. political machine. All of these elements (and more!) aided and abetted Ms. Dunham in what can only be described as the most cunning plan for world domination ever executed in the history of human civilization.

The plan is quite involved and stretched over nearly five decades. Stay with me as I walk us through it together.

Step 1: Have a child in Kenya with a black Kenyan man named Barack Hussein Obama.
A young and vivacious 18-year old, Anna wooed Barack Hussein Obama (later “Barack Hussein Obama, Sr.”), manipulating him into marrying her and conceiving a child together despite the fact that he was already married to another woman in Kenya and had a child with her. Though they were living together in Hawaii when they were married (she was three months pregnant at the time), she managed to convince her husband to travel with her back to his country of birth, Kenya, where her son would be born.

Step 2: Name the child Barack Hussein Obama II.
This step may puzzle most people since his name seems so “foreign” to most Americans and would appear to present a considerable challenge to Barack Obama II as the plan unfolded. What has become clear is that, in naming him in this way, Anna Dunham was, in a sense, flexing her muscle. Full of certainty at the future success of her twisted plans, she chose a husband (see Step 1 above) who would give her child a foreign-sounding name, in part, as a way of thumbing her nose at those who would scoff at her and her ability to carry it out.

Step 3: Move to Hawaii immediately after the birth.
This was a critical step in the plans. It was essential that the new baby not be seen in Kenya or that any evidence of the birth there be left behind. It is likely that people were killed or otherwise “silenced” to keep news of the event from ever leaking out but, to-date, none has been unearthed, so effective was Ms. Dunham in carrying out her objective. Bringing the newborn on a trans-Atlantic trip without notice certainly required advanced planning and the help of others. No word has ever been heard from these people ever again.

Step 4: Conspire with various doctors, nurses, and hospital administrators to create an elaborate fake birth in Honolulu, complete with documentation and sworn testimony from witnesses.
In order to create the illusion that Barack Hussein Obama II was born in the United States of America, Anna Dunham worked tirelessly well in advance of her arrival in Honolulu to set up an elaborate ruse. A “Certificate of Live Birth” was created and deviously placed without notice in to the files of the hospital. Years later, in order to help conceal this remarkable deception, Dunham managed to have the hospital switch to a paperless system, thereby ensuring that the “real” (long-form) birth certificate (which didn’t actually exist) would never come to light. These actions would have required the involvement of hospital staff and, like those that helped her cross the ocean from Africa with a less-than-one-week-old infant, the individuals have been effectively silenced. Were they paid off? Were they drugged and taken to another country where they were brainwashed and then released to live a new life, completely unaware of their past or what had transpired? Were they actually killed??? Nobody knows the answers to these questions but clearly something happened.

Step 5: Conspire with a local newspaper to print a fake birth announcement to add “credibility” to the elaborate hoax.
No birth in this country is complete with a birth announcement in the local newspaper and Barack Hussein Obama II’s birth is no exception. Again, clearly planned well in advance, Ms. Dunham worked with a local newspaper to insert a two-line birth announcement (.pdf) into Honolulu’s Sunday Advertiser newspaper on August 13th, 1961.

Step 6: Wait nearly nearly forty years.
This was both the easiest and most difficult part of Ms. Dunham’s plan. During this time, and even after it, she had to ensure that nobody involved in the ruse revealed their evil secret. Again, how this was accomplished has never been revealed, divulged or discovered but it seems clear that, before her death in 1995, she was probably in contact with some of them. Some have speculated that she continued to pay them off which indicates funding from as-yet-unidentified sources with considerable financial resources. During the 47½ years between his birth and his inauguration, Barack Hussein Obama II was educated and given life experiences that were perfectly-suited, some would say TOO perfectly, in fact, to ensure he would overcome all odds and become the President of the United States of America. Mentors were selected and “convinced” to give him “community organizer” training. He was shepherded into reading, writing, and public speaking to ensure a vast knowledge of world affairs and an almost inhuman level of eloquence and charisma. A beautiful and spectacularly intelligent woman, Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, was selected to be his wife and together, they had two nearly picture-perfect children, Sasha and Malia.

Unfortunately for Anna Dunham, she died during this time. Her evil plan, however, did not.

Step 7: Get an African American man, Barack Hussein Obama II, elected as a state senator in Illinois.
The political machine in Chicago is an extremely tough one and navigating its stormy waters is not for novices. It was in this step that Ms. Dunham’s true genius emerges. Although she died two years before he was elected, the wheels she set in motion years before allowed her plot to unfold on its own, despite her absence. Even the Chicago political machine was no match for Anna Dunham.

Step 8: Get Barack Hussein Obama II elected as the U.S. Senator from Illinois.
After accomplishing Step 6, this step was easy peasy.

Step 9: Get Barack Hussein Obama II elected as the President of the United States
Despite having hamstrung him with a Muslim-sounding name and provable Muslim heritage through his father’s side of the family, Anna Dunham’s diabolical plan was finally brought to fruition on November 4, 2008. With prescience only available to those with access to supernatural powers, she knew decades in advance to choose a man to inseminate her with a middle name of Hussein. Because the name Hussein would decades later come to represent the dark side of Islam, Dunham somehow knew that her son’s link to Islamic terrorists would be strengthened by naming her child in this way. Although it can not be confirmed, some have said that Anna Dunham was also responsible for the ascension of Sarah Palin to be the Republican candidate for Vice-President during the 2008 election.

Step 10: Laugh maniacally from the grave as your complicated plot bears fruit and your son takes over the western world by converting the United States of America to a socialistic, communistic, fascist, Islamic, radical black liberation Christian theology-based republic.
Over the next couple of years, the dramatic success of Anna Dunham’s efforts will unfold. Stay tuned.

Surely now that this plot has been explained in plain English, you, like Lou Dobbs, the denizens of the Free Republic and countless Republican Congressmen and Congresswomen, must now admit what should already have been painfully obvious: Barack Hussein Obama II is not the president of the United States of America. He was born in Kenya and is not qualified under the Constitution to hold the office of president. The fact that President Obama hasn’t (i.e., CAN’T) produce the official, long-form birth certificate that would clear this all up PROVES that he’s not an American citizen and that this description of Anna Dunham’s ten-step plan is true.

You’re welcome.