Bwahahahahaha, Conservatives, Michigan Republicans — November 19, 2014 at 1:30 pm

UPDATED x2: According to incoming House Rep Todd Courser, House Speaker Jase Bolger is just too goddam liberal


Right before the election, a voter from Lapeer County reached out to me to tell me he had received a call from the campaign of far-right candidate Todd Courser. When he informed the caller he would be voting for Courser’s opponent, she asked him, “Would you change your vote if you knew that Margaret Guerrero DeLuca had faggots and blacks working for her?”

Some folks refused to believe this had actually transpired but, when you scratch beneath the surface of the sort of hateful person Todd Courser is, it’s no surprise and many folks in Lapeer had no problem believing something like this came from Courser’s campaign.

Last Friday, Courser sent out an email to his supporters that confirms just how outside the orbit of sanity he lives. I’m reproducing the email below with some commentary. For those outside of our state, there are efforts being made during our lame duck session in Michigan to expand the Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act to include protections for the LGBT community and our current GOP House Speaker wants to couple it with a religious exemption for “sincerely-held religious beliefs”, basically giving people a religion-based license to discriminate. More on that HERE.

Now, on with the (freak) show…

Dear Friend,

For conservative, grassroots Republicans, the events of the past week come as a complete shock. Surely, our so-called “Republican” speaker would not bring to the floor the liberty-killing, unconstitutional expansion of the Elliott-Larsen Act. Many Republican House members claim to be stunned, but they should have anticipated the lengths these RINO, Democrat-lite politicians would go to enact their statist, secular agenda.

Those of us who have decried the conservative extremism of Jase Bolger have apparently had it all wrong. He’s not, in fact, a true Republican, he’s a “Republican in name only” (RINO) and is actually Democrat, according to Courser.

Unencumbered by the accountability that elections provide, we are watching “Republicans” show their true colors, which stand in stark contrast to the principles they have espoused in their time in office or on the campaign trail. These so-called “conservatives” are no longer burdened by the need to face the voters of this state, and are pursuing policies to ingratiate themselves to the political establishment in the hopes of gaining a golden parachute into a posh lobbying job or political appointment.

It is an egregious offense that they are trampling on the religious liberties endowed by our creator and enshrined in our state and federal constitutions. The current “Republican” Speaker of the House, emboldened by the small fortune he has procured from LGBT activists, is pushing to bring the expansion of Elliott-Larsen to the floor for a vote, despite the objections of the majority of his caucus. The chief author of Elliott-Larsen expansion even lost his primary this year, an historic first for a sitting representative and a sharp rebuke to his policy agenda, yet he trudges forward, untethered from the need to face the constituents that have witnessed his agenda and staunchly rejected it.

As it turns out – again, we have Courser to thank for revealing this secret information – Jase Bolger has accumulated vast wealth from the LGBT community. Apparently, the entire time they have been excoriating him for his bigoted views and actions, they’ve been secretly pumping a “small fortune” into his bank account.

On the planet where Courser lives, any rights that are enjoyed by minority groups are rights TAKEN from people like him, a true “patriot”. In other words, it’s a zero sum game. If LGBT people are allowed to marry, adopt children, own property together, and to enjoy the hundreds and hundreds of benefits afforded to straight Michiganders, the rest of us have had the “religious liberties endowed by our creator” stripped from us. It’s insidious, I know. In states where these rights have already been granted, millions of Americans are apparently walking around completely oblivious to the fact that they have been denied their religious liberties because same-sex couples have married. If fact, if people like Todd Courser weren’t around to educate them, they might never realize the unfelt impact it’s having on their lives. It’s like that herpes virus you have where you never get the cold sore.

If the Republican Speaker continues to ignore the will of the voters and the principles of the caucus that elected him, unprecedented action must be taken! Conservatives must call for his removal and require the immediate implementation of the Hastert rule. If this is unsuccessful, the caucus must turn their backs on their rogue leader and walk out, refusing to vote on any other piece of legislation during lame duck. If the Speaker wishes to pass a Democratic agenda with Democratic votes and ignore the principles of the Republican caucus that elected him, let him look out at the chamber and see his true allies – liberals and statists seeking an agenda beholden to Big Government secularism.

Jase Bolger. Liberal Democrat. Man, who knew?

Grassroots conservatives knew this was coming; we must be prepared to stand and fight. Do not let the Speaker cower behind his hastily written religious exemption: in states where there is such an exemption, religious freedoms are under assault. Even he has stated that a religious exemption would only apply in certain narrow instances. Elliott-Larsen expansion would put a limit on a person’s 1st amendment rights and the Speaker is trying to mask that fact with a toothless religious freedom exception.

Okay, now we’re getting into the meat of this argument. If I understand Courser correctly here, if the LGBT community is allowed to have civil rights and if people are unable to use their religion as a Bigot Club to discriminate against them with impunity, they have had their 1st Amendment rights taken from them. Because, verily I say unto you, if thou canst refuse to baketh a wedding cake for Susan and Jane’s blessed nuptuals, thine voice hath been silenced.

We have a duty to defend the constitution, defend liberty and defend our right to freely practice our beliefs. Now is the time to contact your representatives and take no excuses. Now is the time for Republicans in Lansing to listen to the grassroots instead of their consiglieres in the permanent government establishment. To allow the Speaker to act as a rogue champion of the liberal left would be laughable if it wasn’t so obscenely offensive. I will gladly walk arm-in-arm with any conservatives willing to show their backbone and other relevant anatomical parts in standing up to this abasement of our Constitutional liberties.

Okay, he lost me a bit here. I get the whole “I practice my Christianity as taught by the Prince of Love Jesus Christ by raining down my hatred on those I dislike” thing. I get that. But what about walking arm-in-arm showing “relevant anatomical parts”? Will they wear assless chaps so that they can show their bares asses to Jase Bolger? Will they be exposing their manly genitalia for him to gaze upon? ‘Cause, if that’s the case, that sounds kinda gay to me. I mean that’s the sort of thing usually reserved for gay pride parades, amirite?

Now is the time for action. Call your Representatives and Senators now and demand they respect the will of their constituents.

Yours in liberty,


Ah. A sane sentence. Finally. Thank God who art in heaven who hates anyone who isn’t straight.

Like Todd Courser and his assless chaps.

UPDATE: We should probably be clear on just who it is that Courser is calling “Democrat-lite”. Here are a few of the “RINO” things Jase Bolger is responsible for:

If Jase Bolger is a Democrat, he’s really, really, really bad at it.

UPDATE 2: This post earned me a mention in MIRS New Service’s “Quote of the Day”:

Not sure how you could read this post as taking Speaker Bolger’s side but it’s hilarious nonetheless.

Also, for all of you chaps purists out there who have pointed out that ALL chaps are assless: Yeah, yeah. But, as Wikipedia points out, people still say it anyway:

Chaps are also popular in fetish fashion and the leather subculture, where they often are tightly fitted and worn without jeans or other garments layered beneath them other than a codpiece. They can be made of leather, patent leather, or vinyl and are worn for decoration serving no protective purpose. Worn in this manner, they are colloquially referred to as “assless” chaps, despite the redundancy of the term.