He made Jesus cry — or maybe He’s just LOLing
Baptist pastor Mike Frey appeared before a Minnesota House of Representatives hearing on marriage equality yesterday to speak out against passage of legislation that will legalize same-sex marriage. His argument — stay with me on this — is that when teh gayz have teh buttsecks, enzymes on the head of the sperm enter the bloodstream and cause AIDS.
This medical genius also explains that women’s vaginas have super powers that prevent this from happening.
Let’s roll tape:
Here’s the transcript via the City Pages blog:
My name is Mike Frey. I speak as a concerned Minnesotan father and husband. And the thing about same sex marriage is that, people who are married, do have sex. And when same-sex people are married, they do have sex, there’s something called sodomy. Sodomy defined in Minnesota is sex by or with the mouth or through the anus. When there is ejaculation into a vagina, there is a barrier there, as in your packet it states there, of a cellular tissue that doesn’t allow the sperm — that has an enzyme at the head of it, to penetrate the blood flow. It is designed to go to the egg — that enzyme is designed to burn the outside membrane of the egg cell — go inside the egg, and then deposit the DNA. We call that conception.
When ejaculation occurs inside of a colon it is a highly absorbent material, the cells do not have a barrier for the sperm and those enzymes to enter into the bloodflow. When the enzymes enter into the bloodflow and a continued, prolonged, um, environment to that happens these enzymes into bloodflow it causes what we know as AIDS — acquired immune deficiency syndrome. AIDS of course brings on common diseases, colds and things, and it magnifies them to a point where it’s unhealthy. Not only does it strengthen the disease within the carrier of AIDS — the person that has a destroyed immune system — but it also strengthens the disease that can be spread to the society at large.
There is an example in Los Angeles County, California, where among the gay community a rash almost like boils, and a very raw skin broke out on the hands, feet, butt, mouth of these gay communities and they couldn’t find a cure for it for a long time. Their doctors called the Centers for Disease Control and they couldn’t find this cure for it. The cure they found, a very extrenuous [sic] antibiotic, was Zyvox. It cost $2,400 for one course of use.
I urge you to vote against the changes inside this bill, because it’s going to put a health risk for the society at large and it’s going to put a financial burden on the people of Minnesota to be able to support all the diseases that will come out of this.
It’s so unfortunate that the camera was facing Mr. Frey instead of the lawmakers having to sit through this cringe-worthy medical fantasy concocted by the good pastor. The looks on their faces and their body language must have been epic.
Apparently, Mr. Frey planned on being a surgeon until, when he was sixteen, God tapped him on the shoulder and told him NO!!!. Thank … um … God…
P.S. Just so that we have at least one medically factual statement in this post, please be sure you understand this: In 2011, 25% of the people diagnosed with AIDS in the USA were women. In other words, vaginas may be super but they don’t have magical anti-AIDS super powers. Sorry, ladies.
[Jesus Facepalm photo credit: jc-pics | Flickr]