Mitt Romney — June 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

Struggling in America? Try applying to be Ann Romney’s horse. It’s doing better than you. – UPDATED: Maybe not.

by

Of course, of course.

Times are tough for you, you say? Having a hard time paying your bills, getting healthcare, and clothing your kids, you say?

Maybe you should apply to be Ann Romney’s horse.

Why? Because her Olympics-bound dressage horse Rafalca is very likely doing WAY better than you.

The Romneys showed a $77,000 loss on their 2010 tax return for the care and upkeep of Rafalca. That’s more than the median household income of $51,413.

But that’s not all. According to an infographic put together by Current, Rafalca’s numbers stacked up pretty well compared with average Americans:

  • Shelter
    Average American family: $16,352
    Rafalca: $28,800
  • Clothing
    Average American family: $1,142
    Rafalca: $10,000
  • Health Care
    Average American family: $1,557
    Rafalca: $2,000
  • Transportation
    Average American family: $7,164
    Rafalca: $15,420
  • Food
    Average American family: $7,890
    Rafalca: $1,200

In fact, except for food, Rafalca does better than the average American family in pretty much all of the areas of life. If you switched to eating oatmeal and hay, you could probably get those costs down, too.

So, brush up on your piaffe skills. And your flying changes. And your half-passes. And your pirouettes.

With any luck, you too could get a job as Ann Romney’s dancing horse. You just have to develop a taste for hay.

UPDATE: On second thought, maybe being Ann Romney’s horse isn’t such a good idea after all. Unless you’re REALLY into doing drugs:

Ann Romney found herself briefly the subject of a lawsuit at whose core, according to court documents, was a heavily-medicated horse.

Romney and her trainers sold the horse, Super Hit, in 2008 for $125,000. And Super Hit had what a prominent veterinarian described as a staggering quantity of drugs in its system at the time of its examination before being sold, according to a toxicology report that’s part of the lawsuit over the horse’s condition. […]

The drugs were Butorphanol, Delomidine, Romifidine, and Xylatine.

[Veterinarian Steven] Soule, who has been the United States Equestrian Team veterinarian since 1978, writes, “In my 38 years of practice, I have never come across a drug screen such as this where the horse has been administered so many different medications at the same time.”

Oops.

[CC horse image by Jean-Michel Baud | Fotopedia]

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