Bwahahahahaha, Conservatives — March 29, 2012 at 8:44 am

Newt Gingrich to charge $50 for a picture. I can fix this.


Only 12 percent of Americans blame the President for the high price of Newt Gingrich pictures.

With even his billionaire sugar daddy Sheldon Adelson telling Newt that his campaign is “at the end of his line“, Newt Gingrich still has one amazing asset that no one can take from him: America’s insatiable desire to pose in a picture with Newt Gingrich.

And for this incredible honor, he is charging $50 a pop. WOH. $50?

Frankly, that’s a price too many Americans cannot afford. We all need a picture with Newt and we should all be able to afford one.

That’s why I’m introducing my plan to reduce the price of Newt Gingrich pictures to only $2.50 each. Some say there have been more Newt pictures taken in the last year than in the last decade and still the price is skyrocketing. Some people say that there is a global market for Newt pictures and nothing I can do can change that. I say, watch me.

Using my secret formula of camera phones, disposable cameras and Newt impersonators or scarecrows smothered with mashed potatoes, I will drive down the price of Newt Gingrich to possibly even below $2.50.

People may not be ready to accept this incredibly huge idea. But frankly, this the time for people with big ideas to drag them out for as long as possible. Because, honestly, what else does Newt Gingrich have to do?

[CC image by jurvetson]