Mitt Romney — August 15, 2011 at 11:11 am

He ain’t heavy, he’s my corporation


Now that we’ve learned that corporations are people, I got to thinking about the implications of this. It’s something, frankly, that I’ve known since I saw The Corporation. However, this is the first time I’ve heard it uttered with complete sincerity by a politician who knew people could hear him or her.

If corporations are people, that should bring with it some interesting baggage. I started tweeting using the hashtag #RomneyCorpsRPeople, just sort of thinking out loud.

I think I’ll try to seduce a coporation tonite…

Went to the corporation next door to borrow a cup of sugar. They told me to fuck off.

Let’s send corporations to fight in Afghanistan.

If two corporations get married, will anti-same sex marriage bigots complain?

Wait. It’s illegal to own people now. What will we do? Liberate the corporation!

Are corporations eligible to run for prez if they’re over 35?

If you ever get close to a corporation & corporate behavior…there’s definitely definitely no logic – Bjork

Tempted to update this Wikipedia page now with Romney’s new information:

No more bad-mouthing Big Business. That could be construed as a hate crime against a minority.

I think we need to file a Missing Persons report on this corporation:

That last one there is pretty ironic, innit? A corporation springs up, donates a cool $1 million to Romney’s campaign then silently disappears into the mists. I’m trying to sort out how this whole “corporations are people” thing fits into that particular scenario. The mind, it reels. I mean people don’t just appear and disappear like that. They’re born, raised, schooled and THEN they donate nauseatingly large amounts of money to their favorite candidate. Corporations don’t have to pay their dues, by Goddess! It’s just … UNFAIR!

On the other hand, they can’t have sex either so at least we have one up on them there.

UPDATE: Disregard that last one. I just remembered: corporations have been screwing us for years. And they liked it, too.