Bwahahahahaha, Obama, President Obama — December 30, 2009 at 7:49 am

Pres. Daily Brief: Bin Laden determ. to strike US w/ underwear


Know what I heard? I heard the president got a Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) months ago that warned him of terrorist underwear bombing attacks against our precious and beloved homeland.

Yup. That’s what I heard. From some guy who read it on a blog on the internets.

And Obama told the guy who gave him the PDB to go Cheney himself.

That’s what I heard.

I wouldn’t have believed it but I heard it from a guy who actually read it himself on the internets so I know it’s true. Also, too, I heard Michigan Representative Pete Hoekstra say that Obama isn’t tough enough on terrorism or that he loves terrorists. Or something. That’s what I think he said.

Here’s what the PDB said:

Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US with Underwears
Clandestine, foreign government, and media reports indicate Bin Ladin since 2001 has wanted to conduct more terrorist attacks in the US. Bin Ladin implied in television interviews that his followers would follow the example of Exploding Pants McGee and “bring the fighting to America in his underwear.”

After US drone strikes on his bases in Pakistan throughout 2009, Bin Ladin told followers he wanted to retaliate in Washington using Fruit of the Looms, Hanes or Undaroos underpants, according to a [-redacted-] service.

An Egyptian Islamic Jihad (EIJ) operative told an [-redacted-] service at the same time that Bin Ladin was planning to exploit the operative’s access to the US to mount a terrorist skivvies strike.

Al-Qa’ida members–including some who are US citizens–have resided in or traveled to the US for years, and the group apparently maintains a support structure that could aid attacks. Two al-Qua’ da members have been discovered working in the Fruit of the Loom plant in Harlingen, Texas. This “sleeper cell” has been studying plans on underpants design for years in preparation for a deadly underwear strike against the US.

A clandestine source said in 2008 that a Bin Ladin cell in New York was recruiting Muslim-American youth for attacks. Youth were selected on the basis of how much of their plaid boxer shorts you could see.

We have not been able to corroborate some of the more sensational threat reporting, such as that from a [-redacted-] service in 2008 saying that Bin Ladin wanted to hijack a US aircraft to gain the release of US-held extremists. However, underwear was, again, mentioned.

Nevertheless, FBI information since that time indicates patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York, infiltration of underwear design studios and the hijackings of shipping trucks from Hanes, Fruit of the Loom and Undaroos plants around the country.

So the Obama administration has clearly known about this underwear bombing threat for sometime. And what have they done?

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Want proof? Go buy some underwear. Do it. Go today. See if you get asked anything about who you are or if you are an Islamofascistnazisocialistjihadimeisterburgerburgermeister. You won’t. Know why?


And I know it’s true because Pete Hoekstra, Glenn Beck and some guy I know who read it on the internets told me so.

I’m just sayin’…