Bwahahahahaha, Republican-Fail, Republicans — October 8, 2009 at 6:45 am

Tea Party Express out of money? May I say “Bwahahahaha!!!”?


I somehow managed to get on the Washington Times email list at work. I suspect one of my conservative bags of douchewater signed me up.

Today I got an email from one of their advertisers:

Below, please find a message from one of our advertisers, Tea Party Express. Periodically, we receive opportunities we believe you may want to learn about. Please note that the following message does not necessarily reflect the positions of The Washington Times.

Right. Doesn’t reflect their position. Sure.

Any way, it’s a plea for money. And that, boyz and girlz, is a clear signal that they are running out of money.

Excuse me a moment while I say this:


Hello fellow conservatives, there are just 19 days until the launch of the “Tea Party Express: Countdown to Judgment Day” and we need your help very urgently. We need to raise the final amount of money to secure our tour buses and pay expenses to be able to launch this massive effort to help take our country back. You can contribute online – CLICK HERE to DONATE.

Yes, yes, yes, it’s the COUNTDOWN TO JUDGMENT DAY. [insert scary music and threatening imagery here…] The final day of judgment for … uhhh … okay, I actually don’t know what the fuck that means. Maybe it’s like when they have to pay their bills for the big stupid buses like this one:

or this one:

But wait! There’s more!

You surely saw the news reports from the original “Tea Party Express” that crossed the country, rallying Americans to stand up and fight back against the tax-spend-bailout policies of the liberal politicians in Washington, D.C.

You mean reports like this one?:


Where they showed signs like this?:

But that’s not all! Call before midnight tomorrow to learn:

We still have to raise a huge chunk of the money needed to pay for our 2 “Tea Party Express” buses, the fuel for the buses, advertising on national TV and local radio shows, and the cost for all the logisitics (everything from permit fees for rallies to equipment costs, hotels for staff and VIPs, etc…)

You read that right – we have just 19 days!

So please, help us by making the most generous contribution to our cause and our upcoming big project. You can contribute online – HERE.

Or, you can mail in a contribution to our headquarters:

[address intentionally removed by diarist]

More information about the “Tea Party Express: Countdown to Judgment Day” can be found at our website here:

If you liked what we did with the first Tea Party Express you’re going to love what we have in store for our second effort. It’s going to be even bigger and better yet!

So please lend us your support. You can contribute online right now – HERE.

Thank you again for your support. We’ve got a lot of work to do to take our country back, and we couldn’t do it without you!

Sounds to me like the bill collector arrives in 19 days. So these guys are asking for a handout.

I say they need to quit asking for help from Americans. Pay your own damn bills! Why should WE be responsible for your over-spending ways?

Or maybe you could get these two douchenozzles to pay for it. After all, they sold a heap o’ cds at your teabagger events:

Rivoli Revue

But I do encourage you to have a bigger and badder Teabagger ORGY OF ANGER. Do it in public. Get a lot of press. ‘Cause you know what?

It’s not working.

I’m just sayin’…