Things That Make You Go Hmmm — January 7, 2013

Gun fetishists to start their own walled compound in Idaho, encourage tourists to come see them


This gon’ get ugly, kidz…

A group of internet gun fetishists and survivalists known as “The Citadel” [insert dramatic sound effect] have purchased 20 acres of a mountaintop in Idaho with plans to purchase thousands more and are planning on building a walled compound to house 3,500-7,000 gun worshipping families. The requirements for acceptance into this community include demonstrating proficiency with the rifle of your choice by hitting a man-sized steel target at 100 yards with open sights at the Citadel range, demonstrating proficiency with a handgun of choice by hitting a man-sized steel target at 25 yards with open sights at the Citadel range, and that every able-bodied Patriot of age within the Citadel maintain one AR15 variant in 5.56mm NATO, at least 5 magazines and 1,000 rounds of ammunition. Not only do you have to love guns, you have to be armed whenever you go into the City Center. That’s their law.

It’s pretty easy to see where this is going to end up.

The stuff on their website is right out of a parody website like The Onion.

  • The Citadel is not profit-driven. The Citadel is Liberty-driven: specifically Thomas Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty.
  • Marxists, Socialists, Liberals and Establishment Republicans will likely find that life in our community is incompatible with their existing ideology and preferred lifestyles.
  • The Citadel Community will house between 3,500 and 7,000 patriotic American families who agree that being prepared for the emergencies of life and being proficient with the American icon of Liberty — the Rifle — are prudent measures.
  • There will be no recycling police and no local ordinance enforcers from City Hall.
  • If Liberty has been missing from the life of your family, consider the Citadel for your new home.
  • Our children will be educated instead of indoctrinated.
  • We intend to purchase at least 2,000 acres, although preferably 3,000 acres for the Citadel Community. A minimum of one square mile will be protected within our wall and towers (640 full acres!). Ideally, up to two full square miles will be protected behind the walls (1,280 acres)!!
  • The Citadel Community is to be a bastion of Liberty in America.
  • Every Patriot selected to live within the Citadel Community will voluntarily agree to follow the footsteps of our Founding Fathers by swearing to one another our lives, our fortunes and our Sacred Honor to defend one another and Liberty against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
  • There is no person who can claim the title, “Leader” of the Citadel, nor will there be. The only “Leader” we have is the ideal of Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty.

They have a very serious list of things that all of their residents must agree to. Hopefully they have it right because, as they say, “this list of conditions may only be altered by unanimous consent of all parties governed by this Agreement, i.e. full-time Residents.”

So, how will they pay for all this, how will they create revenue? Well, they’ve started a gun factory, of course! It’s called III Arms, a company “that will help employ the first wave of III Pioneers”. McClatchy has more:

At the center of the development is a firearms manufacturing company, III Arms, that would employ residents and raise money to help fund the Citadel. III Arms Co. was incorporated in Idaho in August, its headquarters listed in Gaithersburg, Md., a suburb of Washington, D.C. The company’s website offers firearms for sale starting at $1,250. A woman whose name is listed as a representative of the company could not be reached for comment.

III Percent LLC — seemingly a reference to the “three percenter” militia movement — and Citadel Land Development LLC were created in Idaho last month, according to state records.

But that’s not all. This isn’t just for patriots, my friends. According to their website, “the Citadel intends to become a premiere tourist destination for Americans from sea-to-sea and border-to-border.” This collection of freaks actually wants people to come and look at them like zoo animals.

This will come to no good end. It doesn’t take a big stretch of the imagination to play out what will happen in a town full of 3,500-7,000 gun-toting, gun worshippers who see guns as the solution to any problem that you might have. Animosities will arise (they always do.) Factions will form (they always do.) The end scene of this insanity is a cataclysmic gun fight where nearly everyone ends up dead. The communities of David Koresh and Jim Jones come to mind.

Does anyone but me get the impression that the owners of III Arms are going to make out like kings in this deal?

  • Nefercat

    “Not only do you have to love guns, you have to be armed whenever you go into the City Center.”

    In case your fellow Citadelians are as nutty as you are?

  • kirke123

    who will play hitler?

  • KarenJ

    Novelist Lee Child wrote a book, Die Trying, based on this theme — only difference, the gun fetishist community was in a mountainous corner of NW Montana, and they were also survivalist types who subscribed to the “UN black helicopter” paranoia that wacko militia fanatics do. And their leader was a psychopathic master manipulator of low-information cultists.

    Art imitates life.

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  • On New Year’s Day, I stood outside my home and watched as two B2 Stealth Bombers flew every so slowly overhead at extremely low level, they were doing a flyover for the Rose Parade in nearby Pasadena, and I thought of all those self-proclaimed “True Patriots” stockpiling their weapons, ammo, body-amour, and cans of Dinty Moore, and one word came to mind… fools.

  • Company town? Where have I heard that before? And silly me, I thought the “freedom icon” of the US was the bald eagle. How could I have been so mistaken!

    • Bald eagle? Pshaw! It’s the gun, baby! Just like on our coins and currency. Oh. Wait…

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