Author: LOLGOP

How Rick Santorum Could Beat Mitt Romney in Michigan

Metaphorically Rick Santorum should believe in God. The fact that he’s still in this race is a tribute to some higher power or, more likely, the weakness of the GOP’s bench. It’s also a tribute to his appeal to the sort of Republican who hates both birth control and abortion—breeders, as @Azrielenish calls them. Now, I see that Santorum is […]

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How Severely Conservative is Mitt Romney?

How Severely Conservative is Mitt Romney?

If you have to ask… Mitt Romney is so severely conservative that he apologized to Dick Cheney BEFORE he asked the former VP to shoot him in the face. He asks the Catholic Church for permission before he neuters his dog (but not before he puts his dog on the roof of his car). Mitt Romney is so severely conservative […]

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Washington State Passes Marriage Equality

Washington State Passes Marriage Equality

 Grandma, why did you have to wait till you were 68 to marry grandma? For 59% of college freshmen, gay marriage is as controversial as bar soap v. liquid soap. So when Washington State legalized gay marriage today, I’m still left a bit distraught that these couples had to wait so long to marry the people they love. Even worse, […]

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Where is Mitt Romney on the Emergency Manager Law?

Where is Mitt Romney on the Emergency Manager Law?

But I’m severely Michiganderish As Mitt Romney was pretending that Bain Capital created jobs earlier this year, he said, “I’m a numbers guy.” Well, here’s a number that any numbers guy will hate: 26 percent. That’s the percentage of Michigan voters who believe Mitt is a Michigander. 62 percent do not. This helps explain why Mitt is currently losing by […]

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Rick Santorum: Your Dream Candidate

Rick Santorum: Your Dream Candidate

Can you say, ‘Better than Palin?’ If you had told me a year ago that weeks after the Florida GOP primary former US Senator, Crusade supporter and scatological punchline Rick Santorum would still a ‘serious’ candidate for President, I would have said, “Stop trying to make me feel better.” Then you’d say, “No seriously. And birth control will be a […]

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