Bwahahahahaha, GOP Primary, Republican-Fail, Republicans — January 23, 2014 at 7:05 pm

The Republicans’ field for 2016 is AWESOME! (And hilarious.)


Oh, hardy har har har…

A recent fundraising email from was disguised as a “help us pick our presidential candidate for 2016” poll. The list of candidates shows in vivid detail just how shallow their bench actually is:

  • Kelly Ayotte
  • Haley Barbour
  • John Bolton
  • Jeb Bush
  • Herman Cain
  • Ben Carson
  • Chris Christie
  • Ted Cruz
  • Mitch Daniels
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Nikki Haley
  • Mike Huckabee
  • Bobby Jindal
  • John Kasich
  • Peter King
  • Susana Martinez
  • Sarah Palin
  • Rand Paul
  • Ron Paul
  • Tim Pawlenty
  • Mike Pence
  • Rick Perry
  • Rob Portman
  • Condoleezza Rice
  • Marco Rubio
  • Paul Ryan
  • Brian Sandoval
  • Rick Santorum
  • Tim Scott
  • John Thune
  • Scott Walker
  • Allen West

It’s an astonishing list. No Mitt Romney? How about Rick Scott? Ken Cuccinelli? Colin Powell?

And, really, Sarah Palin? Newt Gingrich? Ben Carson? John Bolton? These are legitimate enough to make this list? Hoo boy.

I can see now why they want to shorten the nomination process in 2016. They don’t build a clown car that big.

  • Mortalc01l

    Any rational, smart, sane human being would just sit and laugh at this list; no chance of ANY of those people getting elected President of the USA any time soon. But we’d be wrong! There are actually people who vote for this insane clown posse… REALLY there ARE!

    The Republican party should be utterly screwed with this bunch of detritus to pick from, but I guarantee, the next election will be close due to the brain-dead Republican and Tea Party voters; God help us all.

  • Will

    Allen West? Just…wow.

  • judyms9

    Two sane people, Thune and Portman, but not presidential material. The others on the list are there to actually poll how many GOP voters will have to have help remembering which one is the one who likes dogs and squirrel du jour. But it would be fun to see each of them nominate himself and run under the banner of their individual cooked up new parties: the Freedom Foilers, the Grandiosers, the AK-2016ers, the Climate Kickers, the Holier Tan Dows, the Warhuggers, the Misogynistos (multi-cultural), the Green Eggs and Hammers, etc. Let the word games begin.

  • Carmelo Junior

    Nikki Haley, a woman of color, young and attractive could defeat old hack Clinton.