Republicans: “We lost because people were too dumb to understand our message”

They just didn’t Twitter those jpegs to your Pinterest blogs with good enough email Facebooks

Republicans have thought long and hard and have figured out why they lost the election in 2012. Although you dumb bunnies may think that it was because of their desire to benefit the very rich at the expense of our nation’s most vulnerable or because of their egregious War on Women and War on Minorities, you would, of course, be wrong. The reason they lost, according the Republicans, is because you people just didn’t understand their message well enough.

Here’s Republican National Committee Chair Reince Preibus announcing the GOP’s new 50-state strategy:

We must compete in every state and every region, building relationships with communities we haven’t before. We must develop the best technology with the help of the best minds—and train activists, volunteers, and candidates with the modern tools of a modern party … We can stand by our timeless principles—and articulate them in ways that are modern … relevant to our time and relatable to the majority of voters. {…}

And that, I believe, is how we’ll achieve a Republican renewal. That’s how we’ll grow. That’s how we’ll win … The good news is our principles are sound. We stand for opportunity and for liberty. Freedom is always a new idea—an ever-fresh, revolutionary idea … We can unite Americans around our values if we prove we can take them to a better place. So we must take our message to all voters and to every state.

See? The reason they got clobbered (again) is not because you thought the Republicans would continue to harm the economy, trample the poor and the elderly, and diminish women in our society. It’s that you didn’t realize they stand for opportunity and for liberty. Also, fresh freedom. Legitimate rape, slegitimate schlrape. You must have been too busy getting all your free Obama stuff to be paying attention, you takers.

Preibus isn’t the only one talking about this. Here’s failed Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan:

Ending a self-imposed silence about the November election, 2012 Republican vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan said on Wednesday that he and presidential running mate Mitt Romney lost not because of ideas, but due to ineffective communication.

Ryan said Democratic President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden also prevailed because they did a better job with “technology and (voter) turnout.”

“We have to learn that,” said Ryan, chairman of the House of Representatives Budget Committee. “We have to fix that.”

See how dumb you guys are? Barack Obama and Joe Biden won because they LinkedIn to your YouTube tweets with faster Instagrams and twittered those jpegs to your Pinterest blogs with better email Facebooks. Or something. Anyway, it wasn’t the message, it was the medium that the GOP messed up. And, by the way, who let all those women and brown people vote, anyway?

Frankly, this is all music to my unabashedly liberal ears. If they think the solution is just more of the same only more so, have at it, kids. I’ll be there every step of the way to help you get out your message of higher taxes on the poor, tax breaks for the rich, destroying the social safety net, harming our senior citizens, and trampling the rights of women & minorities.

By the way, that 50-state strategy? That is SO 2005. Literally.

[Paul Ryan photo courtesy of Anne C. Savage, special to Eclectablog]

  • Nefercat

    Not so fast, lyin’ Ryan. The one thing you clowns did very well was communicate. Examples:
    –Repeatedly refusing to provide details of your economic plans we understood perfectly to mean that you didn’t dare give us details.
    –Romney refusing to provide his tax returns we understood perfectly to mean that he had plenty to hide.
    –Never speaking up to defend Sandra Fluke and condemn Limbaugh’s lies we understood perfectly to mean that you had no problem with Limbaugh and his attacks on women.
    –Your party’s moronic, unscientific, woman-hating remarks on rape we understood perfectly to mean that, well, you hate women and have no respect for them.
    –Your entire convention being built around a single, willfully, deliberately, purposefully taken out of context phrase spoken by the President, communicated to us perfectly that you had no ideas of your own whatsoever.

    See? You republicans have no problem communicating. It’s what you are communicating that is a problem for you. But stick with your brilliant analysis, Sparky. It will serve Democrats well.

    • Key Demographic

      The “We Built This” convention theme is proof the RNC officially doesn’t consider this a very intelligent nation. Oh, Obama’s the worst president in modern history? Oh, you have a laundry list of grievances? Better jump on an out-of-context, flavor-of-the-news-cycle quote!

  • Churchlady320

    It’s a total fail when you begin laying “poor communication” as your ground game for why you lost. If you had anything good to say, we would have heard it. If you had anything we believed, we’d have bought it immediately.

    The idea the GOP represent “freedom” works if and only if you wish to participate in a Robber Baron-era unfettered capitalism or if you want to be utterly without limits in how you push your religion down other people’s throats. Those are the only two ‘freedoms’ the GOP care about. We heard you loudly and clearly. You made it clear you detested all other American values and most of the American people. The freedoms you hot-footedly pursue are all for just a few of you, and all at our expense.

    You communicated that all that just fine.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002854082888 Michael Johnson

      Well said! Today’s GOP seems to believe they are Libertarians – they aren’t. They only want freedom for the things they believe in. Like:

      - Pray in school.
      - Pollute at will.
      - Possess assault rifles.

      However, they don’t believe you should have the freedom to:

      - Gay marry.
      - Smoke pot.
      - Have an abortion.
      - Travel to Cuba.
      - Require union members pay dues.

      They’ve been listening to the nonsense from the right-wing media too long.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gfredericks1 Gloria Fredericks

    No. You lost because you made it clear and very clear too that you are only interested in representing the interests of the wealthy, the 1%, and that you have NO INTEREST OR DESIRE to represent the interests of the rest of us, the 99%, except to get our votes at election time. Republicans cannot verbally abuse the 99% as you have done and expect us to support you. Republicans cannot be as disrespectful to the 99% as you have been and still expect us to like you and support you. Republicans cannot talk down to the 99% and think that we are incapable of understanding what you mean. Republicans cannot LIE to the 99% and not expect us to know that you are deliberately lying to us, and it goes on and on. No one was responsible for your failure and your low ratings except you yourselves, AND the Tea party. And the irony is that you still continue to SELF DESTRUCT.

  • BillW

    So once they gerrymander the electoral college and win against the popular vote, they’ll say: “See? We told you so!”

    • Billr

      They are also blaming urban area voter turnout. With their new vote rigging scam and redistricting my mind keeps saying “think Jim Crow”.

  • Urbane_Gorilla

    As a republican voter since after Nixon and up until Bush Jr’s 2nd term, I’d say it isn’t that voters don’t understand their message, it’s that we finally get it all too clearly. They’d do themselves a favor if they’d just STFU.

    • http://eclectablog.com Eclectablog

      For your lips to Reince Preibus’s ears…

  • labman57

    Gee would these be the same 47% of Americans who are regarded by so many conservatives to be lazy parasites on society? If so, it would appear that over 4% of the worthy members of society also failed to understand the sheer genius of the Republican message.

    So what exactly was the message so heavily touted by Republican politicians and pundits:

    - Corporations are people.

    - Voting is a privilege, not a right.

    - Federal workplace standards and business regulations are unAmerican.

    - Women who use birth control are sluts.

    - A chicken in every pot, and a spy-cam in every uterus.

    - Abortions performed in certified medical clinics must be banned, no matter the circumstances of the pregnancy. Much better to have said procedure performed with a wire coat hanger in a back alley, or with a chemical coat hanger provided by a non-accredited physician in a dingy third world doctor’s office.

    - College students are snobs.

    - Students who must obtain federal loans are unworthy of a college education.

    - Public education is part of a left wing brainwashing conspiracy.

    - Critical thinking leads to heretical and treasonous behavior.

    - Gay Americans are an abomination.

    - Poor people deserve to be poor.

    - Union workers are socialist thugs.

    - The unemployed are lazy parasites.

    - Latinos are illegal until proven otherwise.

    - Naturalized citizens with heavy accents are not true Americans.

    - The Bible trumps the Constitution.

    - America is a Christian nation.

    - Secularism equals Satanism.

    - Global warming is a hoax.

    - Environmentalism is unpatriotic and an attack on the will of God.

    - The U.S. auto industry should go bankrupt.

    - Cutting taxes for the ultra-wealthy and subsidizing corporations is patriotic.

    - Cutting taxes for the middle class and providing funding for Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and the Food Stamp program is unpatriotic.

    - If you cannot afford to pay for your family’s health insurance coverage or preventative health care, then all of you are simply taking up oxygen and deserve to die anyway.

    - All progressives are communists.

    - Liberal Democrats hate America.

    - Secession from the Union is the ultimate expression of patriotism.

    - The U.S. President is a Muslim socialist agent from Kenya.

    • http://eclectablog.com Eclectablog

      LOL! That’s a pretty comprehensive round-up!

  • armymom

    No you lost because YOU didn’t understand the peoples message. You know you can’t win with the Republican ideology, so now you will try everything you can in every state necessary to rig elections in your favor. It’s not about the majority being too dumb…it is about the majority being smart enough not to vote for a party that doesn’t represent them!

  • kpnitreal

    What’s so hard to understand that they are a bunch of greedy, bigoted, lieing misogynists who would sell their own mother to the black market pimp if it benefited them and their corporate buddies. We heard their message loud and clear, obviously they didn’t hear the American people say “Sit your bigoted, greedy butts down, shut your holes and let the adults run the country.”

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